Like most girls, I have always planned and pictured my ideal wedding at a young age. I pictured myself picking the colors, where I wanted to have the ceremony and have the reception. I never thought about having any other opinions but my own. Of course this is just a fantasy world I created, because in reality there are always more opinions than your own. This is especially true when you’re planning something as big as a wedding. I am dealing with this with my wedding, but by sharing my experience and tips I found, hopefully it can help for anyone planning a wedding in the future.
Everyone Has an Opinion
It’s inevitable that family members and friends are going to voice their opinion when you’re planning a wedding. It may be because they think they are helping, or they may strongly think that without their opinion you will be missing something important. Sometimes there is a time and place for opinion but opinion does not overrule budget. I’ve had two of my friends scoff at the idea of not having a traditional wedding cake or alcohol at my reception. Of course this was just a suggestion to cut costs, but I like the idea of having cupcakes instead of a big cake. It’s not ideal not to have alcohol at my wedding but costs are a huge factor. There is a certain boundary that opinions shouldn’t cross, especially when that person stating an opinion isn’t paying. Click Here for an example of how who is paying decides what opinions count.
On the other hand my mom and dad who are paying for my wedding have just as big of a say as I do. The wedding is my “big day,” but one thing I always have to keep in mind is what my parents are willing to pay for. I like to think that my opinion matters more than theirs because it’s my day, but it doesn’t work that way. Of course my parents take into account what I want at my wedding, it just has to be realistic. My mom has more opinions than my dad does which at most times are helpful. I just have to remind her that I too have opinions.
Sometimes when planning it can be easy to forget what your significant other wants. For me it’s a much different story. Now, I love my fiancé to death but he knows he is an opinionated person. He usually voices his opinion while I take it into account or ignore it. It’s just the way our relationship works and we usually agree on the same things for the most part. But as suspected, it can be a little overbearing when you have so many opinions coming at you. Especially the opinions from the person you’re sharing the day with. He has ideas of where the ceremony should be or reception. He even has ideas of what our different center pieces should look like. I love what he has to say but when it comes down to it, there has to be some kind of happy medium.
It’s a great thing to know so many people care about helping with a wedding, but what to do with all of the opinions? How do you handle them without upsetting everyone? Well, first off, you can’t make everyone happy and don’t try to. What do you do with the opinions that matter to you? Try to compromise. Don’t compromise with the people who have no say such as friends and distant relatives. If they’re not paying, their opinion’s not staying. That has been a helpful reminder I made for myself and can help anyone. Here is a website with some ideas for compromising.
The people worth compromising with are in my case, my parents and fiancé. For my parents we discuss what I would like to happen on my wedding day and what is realistic for our budget. Sure, our discussion can get heated or upset one of us, but that’s how we work towards compromise. Not everyone is the same, it just works for us. My dad set a goal for my mom and me so we could work things out more smoothly. He told us to compile a list of venues and prices to compare. This has worked because he told us to both be open minded and not be decided about any of the choices.
As for my fiancé Ryan, we have learned to also be open to each other’s ideas. Thank goodness we agree on our color theme. He respects the fact that I’m the bride and that certain things should be decided solely by the bride. We have figured out that looking at stuff online and at bridal expos are helpful for us both to get ideas. The best thing we can do for each other is respect what we both have to say. Sometimes brides have a hard time getting their fiancés involved in the planning, which is definitely something I don’t have to worry about. Click Here for a story about overly opinionated fiances
The best advice I can give to anyone struggling with wedding planning and opinionated people is to just talk to those people. The wedding is about the bride and groom being happy. Not pleasing everyone else. You want to make your guests feel comfortable, but don’t lose sight of what the day is all about. Learn to work with your significant other, whether you’re a bride or groom.